The Proverbial Doghouse

5 Common Ways The Man Ends Up In The “Doghouse”

Love ultimately conquers doghouse antics, especially when the Soldier is about to deploy to combat!

Many men will be familiar with the phrase “In The Doghouse,” and it’s a phrase used in popular TV shows and comedy sketches for years. The protagonist who ends up “in the doghouse” generally goes to the male of a relationship—but can be used in the context of work or friendships—and can refer to the position of the female too. There are many ways in which a one can find oneself in the doghouse. Below are some first-hand examples of when I may have found myself in the doghouse; so read carefully and apply my recommended fixes! While I am older and wiser now (strands of grey hair and all), that doesn’t mean I am impervious to ending up in the proverbial doghouse. In fact, the longer you are in a relationship often means you will be in the doghouse for a longer timeout because you obviously ought to know what not to do by now. Right?

Tried (and failed) to pass a truck on the German Autobahn = doghouse

1) Forgetting important dates. While most couples would agree that a relationship isn’t about flowers and chocolates, remembering a date which has significance is a great way to show that you care, whereas forgetting sends the opposite message. Making an extra effort for birthdays, anniversaries, etc., is one way to remind your partner that you care about her and think of her.

2) Lack of help with planning. If your significant other is trying to plan something—whether it’s a drink after work, a romantic dinner for two, or a week away. A lack of interest and assistance with planning is a sure way to sour the mood. Organizing anything involves work and attention, so refusing to get involved and not offering to help with the logistics of it is bound to cause irritation. While I am the trip planner between our Soldier and Spouse duo, I always make sure to plan fun things that my better half may enjoy. Read Chapter 9 “Scotland (the Brave)” from our book to see how I surprised Deanna with a spa day all to herself—a definite score in the “good husband” category. (Then, I surprised her with a scary ghost tour. . . lost some points there.)

3) Disinterest on holidays. Following from the last suggestion, if your significant other has taken the time to book a vacation somewhere, it’s probably because they think the excursion with you will be exciting (or relaxing). If you can’t be bothered to throw a few clothes in a suitcase prior to leaving or don’t show enthusiasm for the places they want to visit while there, you disregard the work and time they put into choosing and organizing your trip. Deanna is the master packer in our dynamic, but she definitely throws me the annoyed look if I wait until the last minute to pack my stuff (something I’m still working on).

4) Carelessness around the house: If your partner spends a lot of time cooking, cleaning, tidying up, etc., and you walk in with muddy boots, toss your jacket over the table, and leave all the doors open, you’re bound to end up in trouble. My habitual “fail” that sets my wife over the edge is not putting the dishes in the dishwasher after a meal instead of leaving them in the sink. You can bet you’re going to end up in the doghouse if you expect someone else will pick up after you!

5) Refusing to change your behavior. While you shouldn’t have to bend over backward—as a relationship needs work on both sides—apologizing for something and then repeating that same behavior is a sure way to say “I wasn’t really sorry.” It’s bound to cause another argument or leave your partner wondering why they accepted your apology in the first place. Communication and knowing how your partner is feeling is key. While the latter can be an elusive concept to fully grasp—Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus after all—a relationship built on the foundation of meaningful two-way communication will definitely aid in figuring out what makes these alien Venusians tick!

Being in the doghouse isn’t something anyone enjoys (trust me, I know), but it’s not always easy to avoid, no matter how hard you try! Sometimes you won’t have a clue what you’ve done, and that’s the point to which you should encourage your partner to talk to you, tell you what’s up, and see what you can do to reach an agreement about it so you don’t find yourself sleeping on the couch (AKA the doghouse)!

Disclaimer: This Soldier is by no means a Saint! I occasionally find myself in the doghouse for one reason or another. . . in hindsight, all my doghouse antics were justifiable with my lack of consideration for my sensible Spouse. Check out Chapter 8 “Berlin Pride” or Chapter 15 “Vilnius, Lithuania” from our book, Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House, on how I found myself in the doghouse (and how I got myself out of it)!

Who thought visiting Vilnius, Lithuania, in the winter was a great idea? Doghouse!

Traveling Houses

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