Flexing next to the cutest animal = Not Manly
Want to be a Manly Man in Germany? Follow These 5 Tips:
In light of my recent book launch of Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House—which details some of the good, all of the bad, and special emphasis on the ugly of our first assignment in the military to Germany, subsequent gallivanting around fellow countries of Europe, and escapades that will not quickly fade from our memory in Africa—perhaps it’s the right time to give some “manly” tips for those considering a move to the land of the currywurst where close to one billion of them are eaten each year—destination Germany!
Drive Stick Shift
Spouse has to drive because you don’t know stick = Not Manly
The phrase ‘stick shift‘ is an Americanism. The rest of the world—including Germany—refer to it as driving in ‘manual’, the alternative, of course, being Automatic.
Driving a car is awesome. You get the opportunity to put yourself in charge of a huge mechanical beast that can go faster than any two- or four-legged creature ever could. Cars are feats of human engineering, so it’s about time we started treating them as such, and not just clunky butlers who help us with our daily chores. Most people are willing to give up that control in exchange for ‘easy driving’ but if you want to be a real man in Germany, grab the bull by the horns, and drive stick shift.
Certainly, don’t pull an “I don’t know how to drive stick” moment, like me, when you want to rent a car to gain some independence and tackle the limitless portions of the world-famous Autobahn as you wait to receive the car you shipped from the States. Come on, do what I didn’t and learn how to drive stick before you step foot in Europe because 9 out of 10 cars at the rental lot will be manual transmission and you better believe you’ll pay a premium for the fancy automatic one!
Winning the World’s Sexiest Man Competition = Manly!
Wear a Speedo
Sporting that Speedo = Manly!
Don’t be afraid to shake what your mama gave ya! Or at the very least wear something that shows it off. In America, the Speedo is only worn by weird old guys and amped-up bodybuilders. In Germany, if you go to the beach or one of the countless waterparks, you take your Speedo, just like you would your towel or your sun cream. The thing about German culture is that they don’t particularly mind the human body, in fact wearing any form of clothing on the beach at all is more to do with hygiene than it is modesty. Do what I did and blend in with the local culture and grab yourself a Speedo! Get one like mine here.
Master Public Transport
As with any place, be it in America or Europe, knowing how to navigate the public transport system is a vital skill to have in order to live comfortably without having to worry about getting on the wrong bus, or being late for the train. Before you go wherever it is your planning to in Germany, make sure you know every train and bus that you might use at some point during your stay like the back of your hand. Do this and you’ll be able to hop on and off like you own the place, which will undoubtedly set your traveling party at ease, leaving the stress to answering common issues like where to eat or what souvenir to buy.
Do Your Yard Work on Saturday
In America, we have a very strong philosophy of work. Work, work, work. Work as hard as you can, as much as you can, as often as you can.
Germany however, has a much more laid-back approach to working. During midday, all of the shops (apart from a few café’s who have their lunch after) and all the staff spend at least an hour relaxing and enjoying a nice meal which they don’t feel they need to rush.
Germany takes the phrase “Sunday is the day of rest” seriously! This means that on Sunday, you do not work, at all, which includes chores and yard work. If you must do yard work, throw on this shirt and do it on a Saturday because if you attempt to do it on Sunday, you’ll surely get a grumpy German neighbour or two throwing you unflattering looks, or worse, the Polizei (Police) will come knocking because you’ve violated the noise abatement law!
Order Yours Today!
Read My Book!
Although the list in this blog post covers a few ideas about how to survive in Germany and be looked upon by the locals as a ‘manly man,’ there is a book that is filled with in-depth descriptions on how to be seen as the pinnacle of manliness in the country home to the Mecca or Vatican of beer. All you have to do is apply these tips and avoid the manly faux pas I haphazardly committed in Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House. This book is the perfect gift for anybody you know who is currently living in Germany or even someone who is simply planning on taking a holiday there at some point. Remember to put Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House on your Christmas list this year!
Traveling Houses
Get your copy of Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House today!
Check out our Global Reach page to see if our book is available for purchase in your country!
Leave a Reply