Travel Planning Mistakes the Spouse is Bound to Make

5 Ways a Holiday Will Go Amok. . . No Thanks to Your Spouse

 

I’m sure you’ve all been there. You’re off on your first holiday abroad, envisioning stunning sunshine, breathtaking views, an easy and comfortable plane ride, and relaxing at a cozy hotel. Work stress has been waved off the edge of a cliff, the bags are packed, and the house is all locked up. Nothing can possibly go wrong—unless you have a scatter-brained spouse in tow (like me at times), who seems to have only just grasped that you’re going on holiday, but is bouncing along for the ride anyway—only your spouse left their socks and undies behind.

True Story: In my case, I forgot to grab my wife’s second suitcase from the trunk of our car, which had all of her socks and undies packed in it for our weeklong Caribbean cruise—a big Oops with a capital O!

Number 1: ‘I forgot to shut the garage.’ How can you forget to shut the garage? How can someone, so obsessed with their cars and shiny tools, forget to shut the garage? Are you inviting burglars in for a viewing?

 

 

True Story: In my case, our garage dubs as my Man Cave, with a custom-built bar that I made with my father-in-law, a one-of-a-kind Everton Football Club dartboard (read Chapter 2 “Who the Heck are We” and Chapter 7 “London (and a Little Bit of Prague) Calling” for details on my obsession with Everton), and tons of fanfare memorabilia hanging on the walls. . . and yet, every now and then I forget to close the garage! As luck would have it, we are friends with our neighborhood watch!

Number 2: ‘Wait, were we supposed to book ahead?’ You leave one aspect of planning that you’ve mentioned to your spouse that you really, really want, just that single one. You organized all the flights, booked the travel to the airport, loaded up the suitcases, checked again to make sure the toothbrushes were in—and all you let your spouse do was book the fancy hotel you’ve been dreaming of staying. And they didn’t. So now you’re going to trail around town—luggage in tow—hot and tired from that flight, trying to find somewhere which has a vacant room and doesn’t smell like a sewer.

True Story: I once booked my wife and I a room near the airport for the night before our flight out of Munich, Germany, so that we wouldn’t have to make the 3-hour drive from our house to the airport in the early morning hours, but I mistakenly booked the wrong date! Luckily, the hotel wasn’t operating at max capacity—whew!

Number 3: ‘I didn’t realize it was going to be so hot here.’ You did tell your spouse, ten times or more, that it was going to be hot, that you were going during mid-summer, that you wanted to spend time on the beach and they ought to make sure that shorts, a swimsuit, and sunscreen were at the top of your spouse’s list to pack, but somehow, they’re still trotting down the plane steps wearing a sweater and boots with sweat dripping from their face and drenching their clothes as if they’d been sitting in a sauna for an hour! Oh boy, surely if this sounds familiar, your spouse is a rare find and you won the lottery with your prized spouse by your side.

Number 4: ‘Does it matter if my passport expires before we get back?’ Such an innocent question, which is accompanied by a sinking sensation of horror as you grab the little book from your spouse’s hand and peer in desperation at the date printed inside. Well, they probably won’t stop your spouse from coming home, right?

True Story: This happened to me, too! As luck would have it again, we were stationed in Europe and moving back to the U.S. for my next Army assignment and I was permitted to travel on my Military I.D. instead of my passport—thank God!

Number 5: ‘We are experiencing short delays.’ Okay, so you can’t blame this one on your spouse, no matter how much you’d like to, but it might have been wise for one of you to pick up a book. (Hey, why not order your copy of our book Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House? It’s full of comedic relief.)

True Story: ‘Short’ delays usually mean anything but! And when the ‘short’ delay is over, and you’re home at just past midnight—lugging in the bags and inspecting the state of your neglected houseplants—I tell my wife I’ve left my bookbag on the train from the ride home from the airport, which included our expensive Canon Rebel T3 camera! Thankfully, luck struck again as this happened when we were stationed in Japan. You see, the Japanese are an incredibly honest people and had my bag with all contents still inside at the train station’s lost and found office waiting for me to claim it.

And, as you read this, you know it’ll happen again (I know I’ll mess it up again!), a hundred times over because in spite of the stress, chaos, and confusion your spouse caused, traveling has got under your skin, and you just can’t wait for the next trip. Of course, it’s likely to be accompanied by a surprised ‘Oh, I was supposed to bring luggage?’ once you’re up in the air, but it wouldn’t be a holiday without it, right?

 

Traveling Houses

 

Get your copy of Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House today!

Check out our Global Reach page to see if our book is available for purchase in your country!